so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
