is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My vagina is officially offended.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
