my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
