allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
