apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
