How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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