Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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