she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
