Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
