Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
