summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
