the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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