i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
