These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
