i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
