You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
