I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
