I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
high people should be assigned attendants
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
