and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
