I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
