i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
