Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
