grandma shit on top of the toilet
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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