i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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