So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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