I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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