It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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