ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
