it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
