I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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