I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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