is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's always time for handjobs
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
