and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
