u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
