big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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