She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
