pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
