the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You pole danced in your parka.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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