There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
