She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
