ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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