wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
