You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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