yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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