Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
