some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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