i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
