its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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