we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
