two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
