I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Your penis caused this!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
