Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
